philosophies of a fish

1)Always listen to short people
2)When life hands you lemons, make orange soda.
3)Procrastination is just another form of motivation
4)Irony is just God's way of giving you the finger
5)Stress stinks, Jared works
6)Lysol kills 99.9% of germs
7)Video Games are relaxing, not evil
8)Customers=$$$
9)Sword fighting with box cutters is a bad idea
10)BBs and teeth don't mix
11)Don't be #11
12)Don't make assumptions because you'll just make an ass-
umptor out of yourself
13)It's easier to look on the brighter side if you stare into a lightbulb.
14)No one expects the Spanish Inquisition
15)Everybody Loves Kong Fu fighting
16)If the grass is alwayus greener on the otherside, why not just buy a pool.

I will write more when I think of them.